Day Seven: Vital stats

Dear David,

Ding, ding it's weigh in time! I've lost 3.5 pounds this week - a total of 11.5 pounds. 69.5 pounds to go from the grim total of 81 to lose!

I'm not ready to tell anyone my starting weight 'cause it's HUGE! However, starting stats were:

Bust : 43"
Waist : 39.5"
Hips: 47"

In the last two weeks, these have decreased to:

Bust : 42"
Waist : 37.5"
Hips: 46"

I have some before pics but not ready to share those either just quite yet! Need to build up to that too! Stats indicate a big arsed barrel and the camera does not lie!

However, found lovely quote in your book that has been my inspiration for the day. Proud of myself the last two weeks and long may it continue. I need to up my exercise routine but I'm on it this week.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela, 1994

Kikicee

Day Six: Tired

Dear David,

Had epic sleep today. Made some stuffed red peppers and having those for dinner. Going to make some lunches for the week ahead in a minute while my family sample the delights of the Bombay Cottage. Ouch! Ding, ding - weigh in tomorrow. I might do it every two weeks after Monday so that my mood is not dictated by the scales. Some hardcore stats tomorrow....

Kikicee

Day Five and Six: Holey Moley

Dear David,

Good morning! I'm still lying in bed this morning - I was out til 3am last night. Not a drop of alcohol and had a great night with Mo, Larry, Curly, the radgester, and Kylie. The conversation was great! I had so much fun and a really good laugh.

Glasgow is great for a night out, it has to be said. We started in chinaskis and then went to the merchant city. Night time fashion in Glasgow is hilarious these days - this makes me feel like an old fart - but it's true. It's a sea of tits, hair and teeth with hareem pants thrown in for good measure. Some people can pull these kind of pants off but mostly ladies look like those who didn't make the cut for Disney's Aladdin.

I was very good yesterday. Shake in morning, almonds for mid morning, salmon and salad for lunch, almonds for mid afternoon and shake for tea. Day peppered with temptation too. Uncle had birthday party and food was carbilicious. I had brought salmon salad with me as I knew spread would be carb-tastic!




Then, of course, the no alcohol which proved millions easier than Thursday. I also took some thermobubbles before I went out and that kept me awake and perky when I was out. Result!

If you are squeamish, stop reading now!

Yesterday was also....wait for it...the day of my first colonic! Holey moley! Or my holey moley, to be precise. I just thought 'what's the point of putting all this healthy stuff in if it's backed up on 32 years of shite?'

I went to the lovely Kim Tan at the Regent Medical Clinic in the West End of Glasgow. Kim is a nurse from Malaysia but has been in the UK for well over 20 years now. She chatters like a little happy, sunshiny bird and there is a tube inserted where the sun don't shine before you even notice it. I found her on the Colonic Association website who provide a list of fully qualified people in your area.

It's not unpleasant, it's not pleasant. It's just a colonic. You empty bowels beforehand, strip from waist down, dignity covered on table, lie on side and wait apprehensively for the tube.

During the procedure, you lie on your side, while warm water is passed into your bowel through a tube that is inserted into your holey moley. The water circulates through your colon in order to encourage your bowel to empty itself. Waste products are then passed out of your body through the tube. The tube is closed off and you have to wait til you feel like you need to go and holler at Kim and then years of abuse of ones colon flushes down the tube.

After about 10 minutes, you have to lie on your back while the therapist gently massages your abdomen to help the process along. The whole procedure took about 40-45 minutes.

It was £65 for 1 session. I booked another one after being seduced by Kim's enthusiasm about them. She is also a reflexologist and gave me tips and worksheets away with me. Seemingly if you put a finger in the dimple of your chin and massage clockwise, it helps keep you regular.

With finger in dimple, I am going back to bed.

Kikicee

Day Four: Making cakes or eating by osmosis

Dear David,

Afternoon went well and was very good. Bus home at 6pm and back for 7pm. I had prawns with ginger paste and spinach for dinner. I was going to have a shake but it was Friday and I felt like a few hours in front of tv and it feels a little more convivial when one has a meal.

My uncle is 70 tomorrow and have been tasked with whipping up some goodies. Hells bells! Cooking sweet things is fine but the temptation to eat while you are doing it is very, very strong. I desisted.




Recipe - Easy Danish Pastries

1 pack of jus-roll puff pastry
1 200g bag of raisins
1 jar of apricot jam
50g of pecan nuts
Icing sugar to decorate

Preheat oven to 200 degrees

Unroll the jus-roll and leave on the blue packaging. Brush or spoon on apricot jam, throw on raisins and crushed pecans wilfully and artfully. Use the blue packaging to roll the pastry into a sausage and then cut into 10 slices. Use very sharp knife and don't press down, saw back and forth instead.

Stick in oven for 15 mins. Take out and let cool. Mix up some icing sugar and water. Use back of spoon to drizzle icing sugar onto the pastries.

Make them, I dare you! I'm sweating blood trying not to eat one. They could taste like crap as I can't even do some quality assurance. Roped in nature boy and they got the thumbs up.

Time for bed!

Kikicee

Day Four: Newsflash!!!

Dear David,

Mocha flavour protein shakes are available NOW from spacenk. Not on website but from direct sales, just got mail from customer services! You can call 0208 740 2085 and order.

Kikicee

Day Three and start of Day Four

Dear David,

How are you today? Cold but sunny here this afternoon. The chicken smell has not kicked off yet but it’s just the kind of day when we get the chicken smell. The place I work is near a chicken factory and every now and again, the ‘foul’ smell of rotting chicken carcases floats over to give us all the heebie jeebies.

Yesterday, I had vanilla protein shake + lemon vitamin superjuice in the morning and almonds for mid-morning snack with thermobubbles. I had stuffed red peppers (see yesterday for recipe) and broccoli for lunch and almonds again for late-afternoon snack.

I met Asthmatic Sub-Aqua Man and Madame Mudgeon for dinner last night in Stravaigan in Glasgow. One of my favourite places for food and I was not looking forward to not having the legendary fish and chips. I also knew it would be the easiest thing in the world to just have one pinot grigio (large of course) that turned into five but I was determined to stick to plan. I had a master plan.

I looked up the menu whilst at work and worked out what I could have before I went to the restaurant. I obviously had to ‘Meg Ryan’ it when I got there, like a scene from When Harry Met Sally.

Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.

Waitress: Not even the pie?

Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated

Obviously, none of my ordering involved pies, strawberries, ice cream or whipped cream. It went something like this…

Me: I’d like the hake ‘en papillotte’ with fennel, baby onions, shellfish, tomato & saffron broth but I don’t want any oil anywhere near it, I would like the tomato and saffron broth but only if it has not been made with oil and sugar.

Waitress: OK,I’ll check with the chef (but thinking ‘you are a pure fussy freak’)

Me: If it has and you can’t do the dish without it, can you steam any fish and give me a side of greens? (but thinking ‘they are going to spit in my food, I just know it)

However, dish arrived seemingly spit free and was lovely. I knocked back the large glass of pinot that Madame bought for me, despite my protestations and despite having said that I was drinking mineral water and nothing else. I really would have loved it though! She knows me too well!

The evening proved less of a challenge that I thought, as I had prepared in advance and had been resolute about not apologising or being apologetic about being a fussy orderer. At the end of day, it’s my money, my experience and if I want the fish spun round the room 3 times and blessed, the customer is always right!

I came home rather early. It’s amazing how little tolerance one has for the inebriated when one is stone cold sober. Makes one feel terribly antisocial though.

Today has started well. I had the vanilla protein shake with the lemon super juice today after having found a recipe list from you, David, on how to mix it up, ‘scuse the pun, with the shakes.

It makes a big difference to have some variety with the shakes as it makes it more interesting. It means I am not looking at the shake in the morning with tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat. Some of the great mixes I have found are as follows;

Super Charged Greens Shake
1 packet of Super Charged Greens
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Lemon Truffle Shake
1 packet of Lemon Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Chocolate Protein Plus

Orange Truffle Shake
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus
1 packet of Orange Vitamin Mineral Powder

Power Berry Shake
1 packet of Raspberry Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Lemon Drop Cookie Shake
1 packet of Lemon Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Cappuccino (my own humble invention)
1/2 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus
½ packet of Mocha Protein Plus

Other recipes for Ultimate Plan and Maintenance Plan can be found here

Back to the ennui for now...


Kikicee

Day Three: That's a fine mess

Dear David,

How are you? I did really, really well today in the face of much adversity. The usual routine in the morning; I made shake and gulped down at 6am, headed for bus and went to work. I had half a stuffed red pepper for mid-morning snack, the rest of the red peppers for lunch with some spinach. I had little bit of chicken and spinach for mid-afternoon snack. Work is not busy at the moment and it's quite a challenge to overcome the ennui or as Dostoevsky decribes it 'a bestial and indefinable affliction'.

I had to leave work a little early as I had a drinks thing with a recruitment firm that I deal with for work. This was my first real challenge. Not only would there be booze, there would be free booze. I don't miss alcohol as much as I miss free alcohol!

In preparation for the evening, I had made an extra shake this morning to take with me and drink on the train so that I felt full and planned on water for the evening. Oh I felt so smug at being so prepared. Pride does indeed come before a fall and a sludgy mess, it would seem.

Bus from work at 4pm and was on train at 4.49pm my the skin of my teethy, teeth, teeth. I sat down and opened the canvas bag with my work trousers and the lovely blue shake bottle to find that lovely blue shake bottle now contained a mouthful of shake and the rest of my dinner was slowly but surely soaking into my trousers. I drank what was left, dried out bag in the very stinky train toilet and felt a little bit peeved.

I arrived at Queen Street somewhat demoralised but then I remembered that I had almonds in my bag. I ate a handful, contented myself and then remembered that I had £20 worth of free money on my SpaceNK card and I tootled along and picked myself up a treat! Still buzzing from my 10am thermo bubbles, I sipped water all night and was most disciplined. Talked to a couple of peeps about the new regime and they were very supportive, especially 'TBH' who talked me through HIT; high intensity training, and how it would work well with the program. I am sending him links to your website and he's going to have a look. I left about 8.30pm and was home for 9pm. I had some calming bubbles as it seemed just the kind of day that they were made for!

I was going to write to you about Mabel tonight but I simply can't do her justice this evening so I am going to admit defeat and go to my bed.

Kikicee