Day One Hundred & Twenty Six: TVpression

Dear David,

Part two of today's musings. Isn't the TV a load of old shite? This evening I have had adultery, abuse, violence and this culminated in a show about bad carers slapping mentally ill people. I am now being subjected to a show about people talking about social issues in Scotland and how we can resolve them. It has just turned into a big moaning session. This is the thing I cannot stand about these programmes; there is no action, no resolution and no end state. I mean what is the point of highlighting an issue and there being little or no follow-up?

More importantly what happened to light entertainment? Where is the fun, the music, the dancing girls? I mean I am not advocating that television become vacuous, inane and sugary but oh my god, does it all need to be earthy, gritty and real. Does it all need to be grey? And when it is not grey, does it need to be brash and vulgar?

I found myself this Sunday watching re-runs of Agatha Christie adaptions. I know there will a conclusion, a happy-ish ending and that everybody will be dreadfully posh and wonderfully twee. I like things that are well-written, while having an element of the formulaic. I like an ending and like when we they don't show the horrific mugging of an eldery woman as graphically as possible but instead talk in hushed tones of the coshing of old ladies, which incidentally is a wonderful word.

I can feel the white rage becoming white hot having had to watch the shit I have had to watch tonight but virtue of being in the living room so that I can work on my laptop. Some man has just said that given that we are the Scottish race gave the world the Enlightenment, we should be able to cure all our social ills. I think Hutcheson and Hume are turning in their respective graves.

The dreadful show is an audience-based show discussing another TV show called The Scheme, a show about a housing estate and its residents in Kilmarnock. They are discussing the social problems that were highlighted in the program. Throwing Hume into the equation was one of the most stupid and depressing moments of the show, as some wannabe intellectual tried to ram the Scottish Enlightment rather forcefully into the conversation as some kind of solution for drug addiction, unemployment and the ruination of generation upon generation of individuals.

So now I am watching Glee online and it's lovely and everyone is singing.

Kikicee

Day One Hundred & Twenty Six: Spirit me home

Dear David,

Head is in tatters today. Work was good though, all things considered and I got a lot done. Dear Deirdre is off to Ireland so just the Jag and I again for lunch today. Great blether. Demented with sore head now and shattered from not being able to sleep. Can't wait to see the endo on Thursday.

Stood at bus stop tonight wishing and hoping and praying that someone, anyone would pass that knew me and take me home. I would love, just one evening, to be in well before 7pm. Miriam was on the bus this evening though and we had a good chat and it made the journey pass more quickly.

Need to get more adventurous with cooking. I don't think the bland, yet quick and easy, meals I am putting together are interesting enough. I have not made stuffed red peppers for a while and need to liberate some spices from the cupboard. Might go wild with some chicken this evening for tomorrow's lunch.

Senses being assaulted by River City. Mother refuses to put it off and it is seven shades of terrible. Woeful.

I have more work to do this evening.....again. I am heading back to work now.

Kikicee


Tuesday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, salmon, anchovies and salad for lunch, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner + couple of teaspoons of sugar free peanut butter

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: None.. FFS

Day One Hundred & Twenty Five: Shite

Dear David,

What a day! Not too bad though. The Witch is back in the office, which is nice and I had lunch with the Jag and we vented. Lovely. Boss is definitely right off me and the feeling is mutual. We are sending each other tentative, nice emails (while sitting moments from each other) in an attempt to recapture the love. A few jokes and smiley faces but I think the damage might be done! Roll on July and end of contract.

Company have moved to an outsourced model and want all day rate contractors out by the year end. This means that I am being worked out of a job, or expected to work myself out of a job and some chap from Delhi will be sitting in my seat by the 1st of August. Stuck between a rock and a very hard place. If I don't deliver then I'm shit and I am out of a job and if I do deliver, all the hard bits have been delivered and I'm out of a job.

My brain complete with tumour from last time

To top off fantastic week I think my tumour is back. I have got trigeminal neuralgia again and have passed out from the pain in my head six times in the last fourteen days. The residual pain is now actually unbearable. I have the pure white rage and am using every fibre of my body to control it. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I have a pain in my back where my adrenal glands are and that's not good. Got emergency appointment with endocrinologist on Thursday.

Let's just this say that this could potentially be a teeny tiny bit shite.

Kikicee

Monday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, chicken breast, beetroot and salad for lunch, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner + couple of teaspoons of sugar free peanut butter

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: None.. FFS

Day One Hundred & Nineteen to One Hundred & Twenty Four: Work

Dear David,

I am actually started to get royally pissed off with the amount of work I have and pressure that I am under to meet totally unreasonable deadlines. I have been home at 7pm most evenings this week and have to log in again when I get home and do more. I have tried, rather unsuccessfully, to negotiate more realistic timescales with boss. I hate not meeting a deadline and, while I know I should let the train crash to prove a point, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I made a raft of scones on Wednesday night. I brought into work on Thursday to do my bit for the flagging morale. Emergency scone station was set up in Marketing and emails duly distributed. Scones were 'scone' in about 30 minutes. I really should give up my job and just make scones for a living. I am really hoping I have won euromillions and that I can go in on Monday with my swearing fingers out of my pocket and tell my boss where to shove his job. Emergency Scone Thursday also prompted some strange behaviour. Man, who still has not replied to the lovely, casual email asking him to lunch, sent me an email asking me if I had added more sugar to the scones this time.

Immediate drag and drop to the Ridiculous folder, in the absence of there being a Totally Utterly Fucking Ridiculous folder. Gobsmacked. He did not need to write anything. He then tried to make small talk with me in the afternoon while I tried my best  not to reciprocate. Of course, this has made me feel like a terrible person all weekend and I can't stop thinking about what a bitch I am. However, is this not how normal people react? I usually just reply to scone email, make small talk and make it all ok and lovely. God forbid anyone would feel uncomfortable or hurt....but actually what about me? Don't I have a right to be offended, uncomfortable and for someone to make it easy for me??

I am reminded of Dear Deirdre's big ticking clock. Don't have the time to be fannying about fixing people or being nice or making everything just lovely. Fuck it. Could not bring myself, however, to ignore email as I think it is the height of bad manners so emailed back 'Nope' before I left on Friday. This was purely to save myself hours agonising about having been rude to someone. 

Went out on Saturday for Sushi and wine. Big cheat and post Italy and sushi I am up 2 pounds. I am sure if I had weighed myself immediately after Italia it would have been 7 pounds so I am glad I waited. Sushi was delicious - I went to Nanakusa and can't rave about it enough. Great sushi place and service is fantastic. Headed over the road to Chinaskis after and had a glass for the road. Chap came over with chair for me as I was stool-less. He went back to his friends. My married friend said that this is where we would go over and chat to them if she was single. WHAT THE FUCK? I would never do this and would never have dreamed that this was what one would do. The man gave me a chair and in my head, that was the end of it. She explained that no, this was the green light to go over and make some conversation. Well who would have thunk it?

As for exercise, I have been lazy all week and have done none. I am now starting to brick it about the Great North Run as I have fallen WAY behind in the running program and am now at risk of not finishing it in time for the half marathan. Shit. I need to get back into this next week as a matter of urgency. I also plan to take this all a bit more seriously from Monday on as I am having regular cheats and this is probably why my weight has totally plateau-ed.


And well that's about it. I am now going to start work (again) to get stuff done for tomorrow. Epically shit.

Kikicee




Tuesday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, turkey and veg, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: None.. oh the shame...

Wednesday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, turkey and veg, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: The same as Tuesday

Thursday
Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, salmon and veg, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: You've guessed it....none

Friday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, turkey and veg, can of tuna for late afternoon snack, Chicken Curry (no rice)

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: The theme continues.......yup.....none


Saturday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, tuna salad for lunch, almonds for late afternoon snack,untold amounts of carbohydrate in the form of SUSHI (hurrah) + bottle of wine

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: None.. oh the shame..


Sunday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), almonds for mid morning snack, tuna salad, almonds for late afternoon snack, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: None.. oh the shame..

..

Day One Hundred & Fifteen to Eighteen: Italia supercheat

Dear David,

Dear, sweet Italia. Flew out on Friday night and arrived in Milano Orio Al Serio and met up with Nina, John, Wendy, Wesley and the unstoppable Rita. Rita is a friend of the family, woman of a certain age and quite a character. We all headed in hired van to Fidenza but made the necessary stop in the Autogrill. Autogrill is a road side service station but not as we know it. It's also used as the place to go after a night's drinking for food. Given that most of the clubs are out of town in Italy and everyone drink drives, you basically head back home via an Autogrill. Ligabue summs it up in the song Certe Notti.

Certe notti fai un po' di cagnara che sentano che non cambierai più.
Certain nights you make a bit of uproar so those nights feel that you'll never change
Quelle notti fra cosce e zanzare e nebbia e locali a cui dai del tu.
Those nights between thighs and mosquitos and fog and bars where they know your name
Certe notti c'hai qualche ferita che qualche tua amica disinfetterà.
Certain nights you have some wound that one of your girlfriends will disinfect
Certe notti coi bar che son chiusi al primo autogrill c'è chi festeggerà.
Certain nights with that bars that closed, at the first autogrill there is someone who will celebrate

Autogrill also has some cracking sweeties and I had my pick of all the liquorice goodness I could get my hands on. Big bag of Sacla and a pack of pure liquorice. Yum. There was also no need to share as there are only about five other people on the planet who like liquorice and they never seem to be present when I have some. Bliss.

Nina and John

Rita, the grand old dame, started regaling us with stories. These are not stories but epics and they ramble through countries, years and many, many people. They are all true but are so amazing they start to feel like they have the element of untruth. We had many a debate about the percentage of embellishment in Rita's stories. One started with 'When I was driving this SAS officer to his wedding'. There was one about being at Omar Sharif's house and many stories about her time in Tripoli.

The star of the show: Baby Oscar

John was on Rita duty and we chatted or dozed before we arrived at Gab's house and kissed, hugged and deposited Rita before going to the hotel to check in. Hotel was an Italian hotel, which means it was pretty crap and all the rooms smelt of feet, coffee and cigarette smoke. I had opted for the suite and it was just bigger than the other room but equally as crappy. Clean though and not much to complain about. Slumped into bed and slept like a baby...after eating a bag of Fonzies. These are Italian wotsits. Epic.

Awoke the next morning with some Fonzie crumbs to keep me company. Headed down for breakfast where coffee was being served by what can only be described as an 80's crack whore. A slightly spaced out, crabbit young girl who was dreadfully thin, wearing white leggings, white shoes, a tiny pink skirt and pink vest, fluro pink earings and very, very big hair. Breakfast was seven shades of dreadful so just asked the crack whore for green tea, downed it and headed to the nearest bar with Nina and cousin Steve who had arrived the night before. A green tea and thermobubbles but the side order was a piadina with crudo and mozzarella. Delicious.

Tortelli di Zucca

Bit of shopping in Fidenza and purchases of nail varnish and cheese. W & W and I then headed into Parma. I used to live in Parma and this is where Gab and I met in 2000 when we were teaching English and then subsequently both got other jobs. I was there for about three years and loved it.

I went round my old hauts and old house. I went to Caffe Orientale and had salad and a good few spritzes (campari and champagne). I also had to go shopping as the temperature in Italy was about 16/17 degrees when I checked a week before I left but the temperature in the few days before I left had gone to heat wave proportions and was at an uncharacteristically high 35 degrees for May. I had nothing really that suitable and had to go buy something to wear that was more suited to the dreadfully humid and hot weather.

Things I hate about Italy - buying clothes. It is nigh on impossible to buy anything above a size twelve. There is also nothing more demoralising after losing 3 stone and being able to get into a size 14 than skulking about in the fat lady area in H&M. Gab knows the manager and she refuses to stock anything above a size 12 but H&M make her have the Taglie Forte section and it starts at a size 20. I bought a huge blue shirt and a pair of leggings. Girl in front of me in queue was covered in the downy fluff of anorexia as she bought size 6 hotpants. Either on the chew and spit diet, full blown anorexia or abusing laxatives - all favourites of italian women, as we found out when we first arrived and realised we were the only women horsing wine and pizza at dinner. Dreadful.

Pizza and a disgruntled looking Rita

We headed out to dinner on Saturday evening and went to a pizzeria. Beautiful place. I had salad nicoise for lunch a few biccies but I had a final flourish at dinner. I started with Tortelli di Zucca; pumpkin Tortelli filled with pumkin. I then had pizza with cream of pumpkin, mozzarella, red onion and red pepper. I did not manage to finish it but got a doggy bag. Finished with panna cotta with caramel sauce and had copious amount of wine. Delicious.

Lovely church in Fornio

We continued to drink back in Fidenza into the wee small hours and headed back to the hotel about 2am. Up early the next day for the christening and I was feeling a bit off but nothing serious. The same cannot be said of the rest of our troupe. Christening of lovely baby Oscar started and moments later cousin Steve left the church and then hit the deck. Panic ensued as the Italians who saw him faint ran out and failed to revive him. Steve's legs were thrown into the air, a crowd formed and he awoke to a babble of Italian voices in various states of panic. He also managed to rip the arse out of his trousers.

Steve sat in the van for the rest of the christening, nursing a hangover and his dignity. The christening continued and the service was lovely. The priest's sermon was very moving and he spoke at length about how the trappings of modern life were not really what life was about. He spoke about how politics, economics were merely products of society but that this was not our destiny. Our destiny was to become good people and live with faith and that everything else was incidental. As Italy is in the throes of economic meltdown, this was as moving as it was relevant.

Some of the crew post christening

Baby was duly dunked and we renounced Satan and all his works. Pictures followed and usual Italian rabble and clamour for the baby ensued. Gab was forced into the background as generation of matriachs trampled over her and grabbed her children. Eventually we got together and got some photos and then headed to the bar for breakfast. Lovely big custard filled croissant and a green tea.

Off to Gab's for the barbeque. Spread was fantastic and ranged from quiche, cheese, crudo, salami, cakes, crisps, tartine and lots and lots of meat. I had to change into my blue shirt, or tent, and the leggings. I had the look of someone about to give a class in expressive dance and was put in mind of a Julie Walters and Victoria Wood style sketch. It was roasting, so incredibly roasting. We sheltered, nae cowered from the heat and persuaded Umbi to put the padding pool in the garden for the children.....

Alex, Gab's youngest boy, stripped off and jumped in paddling pool, followed by 5 sets of adult feet as we tried desperately to cool down. Played a lot with Alex and I had a chance to get to know him. A lovely little boy, a little prince. He is full of energy and full of fun. We played at paddling pool, cars, rugby and it culminated in his bath and bedtime story. Oscar was really full of tears all day - too many people and just too bloody warm.

Wendy and Wes on hearing news Celtic had won the Cup

We ate, drank and were merry but sweaty until late and then headed back to hotel. Off to bed after a quick nightcap of a Negroni. Woke up early the next morning but made myself stay in bed until 9am before packing and then checking out. Breakfast of a piadina and then off to Gab's for some leftovers lunch. We waved Steve off and then we headed to the outlet at Fidenza for some designer bargains. I got D&G belt for £50 reduced from £300 and a Cocinelle bag reduced from £300 to £170. I got another bag which I am going to give my sister for her birthday next month and I also had the best green tea ever. It came in the most beautiful pyramid shaped box with a little green leaf at the top. I had to stop myself from taking it home and hording it.



Back to Gab's and mooched about for a while before heading to airport for very delayed flight. Got home about 4am instead of 11pm and had to mail in and tell boss I wouldn't be in until 12.30.

Has been the most tiring day, topped off with a meeting that overran and meant I missed bus and spent three hours getting home. Got home at 9pm and feel a bit teary with the stress of it all. Argued with boss over timescales and deadlines today and have another month ahead of me that will mean late nights and a lot more work than one person can deal with. He's not listening to me or he is and he does not give a damn. Either way I think its time for another job.

More on Italia and musings on Italia tomorrow. Back to detailing food from today and weigh in at end of week. Can't face it at the moment and know a few days of being good should undo the damage I have done in Italia!


Kikicee


Tuesday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), tuna and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for dinner

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...

Day One Hundred & Fourteen: Italia

Dear David,

I'm in Italia! It's like coming home - kissed the ground at Milano Bergamo and have started forgetting English words completely!

You'll be disgusted with me this weekend. Just stopped at Autogrill. This is like Little Chef or other chains of roadside service stations. In Italy, however, they are pure class. Got HUGE bag of sacla sweets. It's murder getting anything flavoured with liquorice in the UK. In Italy, liquorice is rife.

Check out the marvels!!!




Kikicee

Day One Hundred & Ten to Day One Hundred & Fourteen: Dreadfully remiss

Dear David,

This has been undoubtedly the most hellish week at work.

The Jag sparked my renewed vigour for posting. I am heading off on holiday today so there may not be a peep out of me for the next few days. Off to christening in Italy and can't bloody wait.

I asked man for lunch. Thought it was a chilled email but, as anticipated, he has not replied. Two mails before this, then I asked and then the conversation stopped. Once was understandable, and perhaps even forgivable. Twice is simply shitty. On the plus side, I'm up 10 points on the Subo scale. I made casual offer, he ignored it. This makes him an idiot. I was tempted to reply with potential responses that adults send as part of his personal and social development and so he is not as ignorant to people in the future. e.g

1. Love to
2. Can't next week, some other time
3. Ask about where I am off to, ignore lunch question (one would get the hint)

However, man is just that. A man. And a good age too. If he's that ignorant at his age then it's ingrained.

I'm feeling too happy and looking to good to let this affect me now. Not that it ever bloody should but you live, you learn.

On train to Prestwick at the moment and am just bursting with excitement. I am, however, missing the Jag in her new Cos trousers. Like all good addicts, I like to get other people hooked too.

I won't bore you with what I ate all week but I was wonderfully good, went running only twice but that's me back into it. I went a different route. Man assured me there were no bears down the underpass and that I should go running there and make my way to the canal.

Epic fail. Lots of it up hill, gravel path, hundreds of the biggest and ugliest flying insects you have ever seen and took wrong turn and ended up on a motorway. Dreadful.

Man showed me where I should have gone. I might tell him where he should go when I see him next! Except I won't because I'm either too demure or too chicken shit. Think it is the latter and not the former.

Re Subo scale though, it's actually worse asking someone for lunch when you are just 'not bovvered' and they don't reply. I mean, at the end of day, that is someone telling you they don't even want to be a work friend or get to know anything about you. Mind you taking this one on the chin.

I was so good this week especially because I will be grubbing it in Italy this weekend. I'm not going to be terrible but I have a date with some starchy, buttery, cheesy goodness - all washed down with wine.

I will update on my return but expect a very different listing for food consumed than the usual offering.

Food intake predicted for the weekend:

Pizzas: 1
Butter-rich pasta dishes: 2
Wine: 3 bottles

And that's just Saturday...


Kikicee

Day One Hundred & Six to Day One Hundred & Nine:

Dear David,

Not too bad a weekend and I am trying to feel positive about the week ahead at work. I went to get hair cut even shorter on Saturday and got some things for going to Italy on Friday. I headed off to friend's farm in the evening and we had a great time. Lambs are all born now and were frolicking as only lambs can. Kept on detox diet for the last three days as will be back to 5 meals a day on Monday. Really need to do some exercise this week.

Going to get some stuff done for the office before tomorrow.

 Kikicee


Friday

Food:  protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...

Saturday

Food: protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...

Sunday

Food:  protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...

Day One Hundred & Five: Very, very tired and very, very emotional

Dear David,

Yet more no exercise and I'm not impressed with myself but today was pretty terrible. I had back to back meetings, documents to write and edit and have been gifted with two resources who are nothing short of dreadful. This is somewhat a first impression and I could be proved wrong. However, one seems crazy, like proper unhinged and the other is one of those chaps that thinks he does not know anything because you are not telling him or you have hidden it from him. He actually asked me how I learned what I know about the project today, implied I was on some secret training course and looked suspicious when I said 'I read stuff and listened'. I gave him a whole list of documents to read and took time to take him through them, which was over and above the call of duty. It does not look like this is going to shape up well but I really am holding out so much hope that everything works out for the best.

I had the most hellish meeting today and, after it, had a meeting with my boss to discuss some project stuff and I started crying, choking them back but actually tears streaming down my face. Granted I am definitely premenstrual but that is the first time that has ever happened to me at work. I asked him what I need to say or do to communicate effectively that I was overallocated in such a way that he would do something about it. I reminded him that this project was not a one-woman roadshow.

I get the impression that we are moving to the 'offshore' model and that they are riding me like a horse til my contract finishes. Cruelty to contractors, I think this is called.

I obviously did not go running today as I did not have a minute spare. I got home about 8pm as the bus was late. I am tired and I am going to bed.

Kikicee

Wednesday

Food: Detox shot, protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...



Kikicee

Day One Hundred & Four: Frazzled!

Dear David,

I had no time to get used to new desk today as I was never at it. Workshops, meetings, speedy write-ups in the middle! Tired, tired, tired.

No exercise again and need to run tomorrow. It's on, on, on.
More tomorrow - off for shower and early bed.

Kikicee

Tuesday

Food: Detox shot, protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...



Kikicee

Day One Hundred & Three: A new beginning (again)

Dear David,


Right so 39 pounds down which equates to 4.3 ladies. Let's take some off...

I have 81 pounds to lose so that's 42 pounds to go which means I am nearly half way there and it has only been three and a half months.

Let's now focus on some more positives. My starting stats were as follows;

Bust : 43"
Waist : 39.5"
Hips: 47"

These have now reduced to:

Bust : 38"
Waist : 32"
Hips: 42"

That's a total inch loss of 17.5 inches. Still decidely hippy but more running this week and get the ass moving. It's on. It's totally on. I don't why I have lost the plot so badly over the last couple of weeks. It's been tougher and tougher getting back on the wagon.

Saturday was probably the drunkest I have ever been in my life. It was the first alcohol induced blackout I have ever had and also managed to come home with one shoe. We found it in the garden when I came home from work today. Far from epic.

The drinking on Thursday started the very steady decline. Thursday was actually hilarious though. There is nothing funnier than watching other people get more drunk and more badly behaved than you. Roles were pretty much reversed on Saturday...

Moved on from all my crushes, likes and attempts at being normal. I think SUBO is the way forward. I am booking slot on Britain's Got Talent now. At least I will be minted in my old age. Plus without the daily support of Dear Deirdre and the Jag, I definitely cannot be trusted to make rational decisions on my own!

I had to move chair to Shiteville today and it was a sad, sad day. I actually felt a bit teary. I HATE my new desk. Company does not seem to be shaping up well and shock, horror at big glasses was disproportionate to even their size. I should not have gone to Specsavers but should have brought a subscription to Cosmo and a baseball bat for the unfashionable, unoriginal few.

I am going to miss Dear Deirdre, the Jag, the Rey, the Witch and Yorkie. It's going to be dreadful, totally dreadful. I am trying to be positive but it's too sad. The Witch was joking today and I really could not even laugh at the tragedy that was befalling me. Heartbreak.

I will stay positive, stay focused and run tomorrow to cheer myself up.

It's time for GLEE!

Kikicee





Monday

Food: Detox shot, protein shake (Vanilla), turkey and salad, protein shake (Vanilla) for lunch

Supplements: Thermobubbles, Vitamin Superjuice (Raspberry), Flush and Cleanse, Hoodia

Exercise: No exercise....poor show...

Day Ninety Seven to Day One Hundred and Two: More epic failing

Dear David,

This week has been so stressful. Document finally handed in on Thursday - 4 days late. I have another one to had in on Monday and it 6 days late. I have worked really long hours and I have not been running once. I have not updated blog, I have not had one good night's sleep and I am totally exhausted.

I did the 5 day detox and was fine until Thursday but I went out with work peeps and had some vodkas. Well, quite a few actually. I had funeral on Friday and it was most upsetting. I just ate whatever was put in front of me and had cakes, bakes and the like. I drank on Saturday and I really went all out. I got totally hammered.

This is now over. I have to start back on this again and stop being an arse. I have another 5 day detox kit and am starting again (for the second time) on Monday. I need to get back to running program and stop kidding myself on.

I'll weigh in and measure in tomorrow.

Kikicee

Day Ninety Four to Ninety Six: Epic Fail

Dear David,

What a weekend! I headed out of work frazzled on Thursday and was up early on Friday morning. I watched some of the Royal Wedding while getting reading to head out and meet a couple of girls with whom I went to school. We went to Amore in the Merchant City and I was very, very good and then, almost immediately after, I was very, very bad. I had sea bass with a green salad. I finished lunch with two Margaritas.

Lunch was great and the conversation sparkling. When I say sparkling, it had a grim hue as we did the run through of ‘Where are they now?’ about people, we knew from school. I headed off about 3.30pm, rather inebriated; it has to be said, towards the shops with credit card in hand. Are you sensing that this does not end well? Well, you would be right.

I became a magician, a drunk magician. I made a small fortune disappear in Cos, Hobbs and Space N.K. Just like that.

I had a top up of a little glass of champagne in Rogano and headed home. Lord and Lady were out for the night and I ordered in an Indian meal and, by the time it arrived, I had a bottle of wine opened that did not have Sancerre on it. It had MY name on it.

I watched a couple of movies and then got a most upsetting call. My best friend’s dad died rather suddenly. I am simply heartbroken for her. I tootled off to bed, rather drunk and a bit teary.

I got up early on Saturday morning and headed into town to be shorn. I have been trying to grow my hair for the wedding and I cannot take one more minute of it. I have had very short hair for years, it has reached that in-between stage now, and it is hideous. I opted for ‘as short as you can make it’ and the hairdresser did not disappoint. In fact, he was rather too enthusiastic and I now look like a boy with breasts. It is not the best haircut I have ever had but the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is a week.




I shopped some more on Saturday but was rather more restrained than Friday. I headed back home and went to see my friend’s mum. The whole family were round and people were dropping in, one after another. Cakes were passed round and I don’t know what happened but two pieces of rocky road and a piece of malteser cake happened to find their way into my mouth.
Dinner was pie and beans. This theme of gorging continued well into Sunday where I ended the evening on a high with fish and chips and ice cream. I did no exercise at all. I pottered about in the garden and planted up a few planters with plants I got in the afternoon. They did look positively lovely.

I have started the 5 day detox today. I have very successfully retoxed so I am ready. I am not even going to detail what I ate over the weekend because it’s actually disgraceful. Short version: A load of shite and no exercise.

It’s GLEE tonight. I will be up until all hours trying to get this, now very late, document handed in tomorrow.

Kikicee