Day Seven: Vital stats

Dear David,

Ding, ding it's weigh in time! I've lost 3.5 pounds this week - a total of 11.5 pounds. 69.5 pounds to go from the grim total of 81 to lose!

I'm not ready to tell anyone my starting weight 'cause it's HUGE! However, starting stats were:

Bust : 43"
Waist : 39.5"
Hips: 47"

In the last two weeks, these have decreased to:

Bust : 42"
Waist : 37.5"
Hips: 46"

I have some before pics but not ready to share those either just quite yet! Need to build up to that too! Stats indicate a big arsed barrel and the camera does not lie!

However, found lovely quote in your book that has been my inspiration for the day. Proud of myself the last two weeks and long may it continue. I need to up my exercise routine but I'm on it this week.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela, 1994

Kikicee

Day Six: Tired

Dear David,

Had epic sleep today. Made some stuffed red peppers and having those for dinner. Going to make some lunches for the week ahead in a minute while my family sample the delights of the Bombay Cottage. Ouch! Ding, ding - weigh in tomorrow. I might do it every two weeks after Monday so that my mood is not dictated by the scales. Some hardcore stats tomorrow....

Kikicee

Day Five and Six: Holey Moley

Dear David,

Good morning! I'm still lying in bed this morning - I was out til 3am last night. Not a drop of alcohol and had a great night with Mo, Larry, Curly, the radgester, and Kylie. The conversation was great! I had so much fun and a really good laugh.

Glasgow is great for a night out, it has to be said. We started in chinaskis and then went to the merchant city. Night time fashion in Glasgow is hilarious these days - this makes me feel like an old fart - but it's true. It's a sea of tits, hair and teeth with hareem pants thrown in for good measure. Some people can pull these kind of pants off but mostly ladies look like those who didn't make the cut for Disney's Aladdin.

I was very good yesterday. Shake in morning, almonds for mid morning, salmon and salad for lunch, almonds for mid afternoon and shake for tea. Day peppered with temptation too. Uncle had birthday party and food was carbilicious. I had brought salmon salad with me as I knew spread would be carb-tastic!




Then, of course, the no alcohol which proved millions easier than Thursday. I also took some thermobubbles before I went out and that kept me awake and perky when I was out. Result!

If you are squeamish, stop reading now!

Yesterday was also....wait for it...the day of my first colonic! Holey moley! Or my holey moley, to be precise. I just thought 'what's the point of putting all this healthy stuff in if it's backed up on 32 years of shite?'

I went to the lovely Kim Tan at the Regent Medical Clinic in the West End of Glasgow. Kim is a nurse from Malaysia but has been in the UK for well over 20 years now. She chatters like a little happy, sunshiny bird and there is a tube inserted where the sun don't shine before you even notice it. I found her on the Colonic Association website who provide a list of fully qualified people in your area.

It's not unpleasant, it's not pleasant. It's just a colonic. You empty bowels beforehand, strip from waist down, dignity covered on table, lie on side and wait apprehensively for the tube.

During the procedure, you lie on your side, while warm water is passed into your bowel through a tube that is inserted into your holey moley. The water circulates through your colon in order to encourage your bowel to empty itself. Waste products are then passed out of your body through the tube. The tube is closed off and you have to wait til you feel like you need to go and holler at Kim and then years of abuse of ones colon flushes down the tube.

After about 10 minutes, you have to lie on your back while the therapist gently massages your abdomen to help the process along. The whole procedure took about 40-45 minutes.

It was £65 for 1 session. I booked another one after being seduced by Kim's enthusiasm about them. She is also a reflexologist and gave me tips and worksheets away with me. Seemingly if you put a finger in the dimple of your chin and massage clockwise, it helps keep you regular.

With finger in dimple, I am going back to bed.

Kikicee

Day Four: Making cakes or eating by osmosis

Dear David,

Afternoon went well and was very good. Bus home at 6pm and back for 7pm. I had prawns with ginger paste and spinach for dinner. I was going to have a shake but it was Friday and I felt like a few hours in front of tv and it feels a little more convivial when one has a meal.

My uncle is 70 tomorrow and have been tasked with whipping up some goodies. Hells bells! Cooking sweet things is fine but the temptation to eat while you are doing it is very, very strong. I desisted.




Recipe - Easy Danish Pastries

1 pack of jus-roll puff pastry
1 200g bag of raisins
1 jar of apricot jam
50g of pecan nuts
Icing sugar to decorate

Preheat oven to 200 degrees

Unroll the jus-roll and leave on the blue packaging. Brush or spoon on apricot jam, throw on raisins and crushed pecans wilfully and artfully. Use the blue packaging to roll the pastry into a sausage and then cut into 10 slices. Use very sharp knife and don't press down, saw back and forth instead.

Stick in oven for 15 mins. Take out and let cool. Mix up some icing sugar and water. Use back of spoon to drizzle icing sugar onto the pastries.

Make them, I dare you! I'm sweating blood trying not to eat one. They could taste like crap as I can't even do some quality assurance. Roped in nature boy and they got the thumbs up.

Time for bed!

Kikicee

Day Four: Newsflash!!!

Dear David,

Mocha flavour protein shakes are available NOW from spacenk. Not on website but from direct sales, just got mail from customer services! You can call 0208 740 2085 and order.

Kikicee

Day Three and start of Day Four

Dear David,

How are you today? Cold but sunny here this afternoon. The chicken smell has not kicked off yet but it’s just the kind of day when we get the chicken smell. The place I work is near a chicken factory and every now and again, the ‘foul’ smell of rotting chicken carcases floats over to give us all the heebie jeebies.

Yesterday, I had vanilla protein shake + lemon vitamin superjuice in the morning and almonds for mid-morning snack with thermobubbles. I had stuffed red peppers (see yesterday for recipe) and broccoli for lunch and almonds again for late-afternoon snack.

I met Asthmatic Sub-Aqua Man and Madame Mudgeon for dinner last night in Stravaigan in Glasgow. One of my favourite places for food and I was not looking forward to not having the legendary fish and chips. I also knew it would be the easiest thing in the world to just have one pinot grigio (large of course) that turned into five but I was determined to stick to plan. I had a master plan.

I looked up the menu whilst at work and worked out what I could have before I went to the restaurant. I obviously had to ‘Meg Ryan’ it when I got there, like a scene from When Harry Met Sally.

Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.

Waitress: Not even the pie?

Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated

Obviously, none of my ordering involved pies, strawberries, ice cream or whipped cream. It went something like this…

Me: I’d like the hake ‘en papillotte’ with fennel, baby onions, shellfish, tomato & saffron broth but I don’t want any oil anywhere near it, I would like the tomato and saffron broth but only if it has not been made with oil and sugar.

Waitress: OK,I’ll check with the chef (but thinking ‘you are a pure fussy freak’)

Me: If it has and you can’t do the dish without it, can you steam any fish and give me a side of greens? (but thinking ‘they are going to spit in my food, I just know it)

However, dish arrived seemingly spit free and was lovely. I knocked back the large glass of pinot that Madame bought for me, despite my protestations and despite having said that I was drinking mineral water and nothing else. I really would have loved it though! She knows me too well!

The evening proved less of a challenge that I thought, as I had prepared in advance and had been resolute about not apologising or being apologetic about being a fussy orderer. At the end of day, it’s my money, my experience and if I want the fish spun round the room 3 times and blessed, the customer is always right!

I came home rather early. It’s amazing how little tolerance one has for the inebriated when one is stone cold sober. Makes one feel terribly antisocial though.

Today has started well. I had the vanilla protein shake with the lemon super juice today after having found a recipe list from you, David, on how to mix it up, ‘scuse the pun, with the shakes.

It makes a big difference to have some variety with the shakes as it makes it more interesting. It means I am not looking at the shake in the morning with tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat. Some of the great mixes I have found are as follows;

Super Charged Greens Shake
1 packet of Super Charged Greens
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Lemon Truffle Shake
1 packet of Lemon Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Chocolate Protein Plus

Orange Truffle Shake
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus
1 packet of Orange Vitamin Mineral Powder

Power Berry Shake
1 packet of Raspberry Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Lemon Drop Cookie Shake
1 packet of Lemon Vitamin Mineral Powder
1 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus

Cappuccino (my own humble invention)
1/2 packet of Vanilla Protein Plus
½ packet of Mocha Protein Plus

Other recipes for Ultimate Plan and Maintenance Plan can be found here

Back to the ennui for now...


Kikicee

Day Three: That's a fine mess

Dear David,

How are you? I did really, really well today in the face of much adversity. The usual routine in the morning; I made shake and gulped down at 6am, headed for bus and went to work. I had half a stuffed red pepper for mid-morning snack, the rest of the red peppers for lunch with some spinach. I had little bit of chicken and spinach for mid-afternoon snack. Work is not busy at the moment and it's quite a challenge to overcome the ennui or as Dostoevsky decribes it 'a bestial and indefinable affliction'.

I had to leave work a little early as I had a drinks thing with a recruitment firm that I deal with for work. This was my first real challenge. Not only would there be booze, there would be free booze. I don't miss alcohol as much as I miss free alcohol!

In preparation for the evening, I had made an extra shake this morning to take with me and drink on the train so that I felt full and planned on water for the evening. Oh I felt so smug at being so prepared. Pride does indeed come before a fall and a sludgy mess, it would seem.

Bus from work at 4pm and was on train at 4.49pm my the skin of my teethy, teeth, teeth. I sat down and opened the canvas bag with my work trousers and the lovely blue shake bottle to find that lovely blue shake bottle now contained a mouthful of shake and the rest of my dinner was slowly but surely soaking into my trousers. I drank what was left, dried out bag in the very stinky train toilet and felt a little bit peeved.

I arrived at Queen Street somewhat demoralised but then I remembered that I had almonds in my bag. I ate a handful, contented myself and then remembered that I had £20 worth of free money on my SpaceNK card and I tootled along and picked myself up a treat! Still buzzing from my 10am thermo bubbles, I sipped water all night and was most disciplined. Talked to a couple of peeps about the new regime and they were very supportive, especially 'TBH' who talked me through HIT; high intensity training, and how it would work well with the program. I am sending him links to your website and he's going to have a look. I left about 8.30pm and was home for 9pm. I had some calming bubbles as it seemed just the kind of day that they were made for!

I was going to write to you about Mabel tonight but I simply can't do her justice this evening so I am going to admit defeat and go to my bed.

Kikicee

Day Two: part three - bleh

Dear David,

How's your day been?

Wolfed handful of almonds as late afternoon snack. Buzzed up vanilla protein shake with super charged greens for dinner - it's was bleh. Still not hungry to the point of distraction and it's going well. Made stuffed peppers for tomorrow's lunch as I fear today's smoked salmon may make a comeback in the staff canteen. I'm slowly but surely going right off it. Need to swill some calming bubbles as the news is making me angry - huge surprise from the Tories that if you don't speculate, you don't accumulate. Shocker!







Recipe - 2 meals or 4 snacks

4 sweet red peppers
Pack of turkey mince
2 cups of canned tomatoes
1 tablespoon of red pepper and almond pesto (p 222)
2 anchovies
Sage
Rosemary
Basil
Skoosh of spray oil

Brown mince, add herbs, add tomatoes, add pesto and anchovies

Heat oven to 200 degrees

Deseed peppers, stuff with mince mix and stick in oven, cover with tinfoil, couple of tblspoons of water in tray. Leave for 20 mins.

More appetising than the green puke I had for dinner but I am concentrating on the positives today!







I resisted temptation, I enjoyed what I ate, I ate slowly and consciously and I christened Mabel - more on her tomorrow. I also discovered that a CIMP is not a GIMP but that the play on the word (or acronym if one were being anal) provides much needed distraction when at work.

Night, night

Kikicee

Location:Home

Day Two: part two - bloody Robert Burns

Dear David,

Morning progressed well. I had thermobubbles, lots of water and mid-morning snack prepared last night. So far so good...

First challenge presented itself at lunch. Today Scots around the world celebrate the anniversary of the 18th century poet, Robert Burns. The traditional meal consumed is that of haggis, neeps and tatties.

Outside the canteen, they display the food they are serving as a little amuse bouche. Oh lord, I could murder a plate of it, I really could.

I desist, walk past it and march to salad counter to fill my boots with some Scottish salmon instead. I am most proud of myself! In the words of the Bard himself 'some cannae eat that want it'.






Roll on home time.

Kikicee

Location:Work

Day Two: part one

Dear David,

I'm on the train this morning. I just could not face the bus so stumped up for first class ticket to Edinburgh and am currently enjoying chamomile tea and some water.


Shake this morning was a little ick - did not have time for ice and it was only partially blended. It was passable though and admittedly it has filled me up enough to not want to start crying because the man next to me is devouring a bacon buttie and a cup of tea.

Took my glisodin tablets this morning - you need to take these post the 5 day detox. Still feeling good although ate so much spinach and green stuff yesterday that this morning's constitutional was like grass cuttings!

Anyway, I must get on.

'til later,

Kikicee

Tomorrow's mid morning snack

Dear David,





Made pesto (spinach, basil, blanched almonds, tsp of olive oil), coated 4oz of chicken and stuck on some spinach. Investing in a smaller lunchbox was also an epic idea!

Night, night

Kikicee

Day One

Dear David,

What a day! Up at 6am and downed a protein shake. On the subject of the protein shakes, they are not as bad as drinking your own vomit backwards but they are not the most appetising substance in the world. I did follow your recommendation to blend in blender, with vitamin super juice and some ice and it was much improved. The first time I glugged one down on the detox diet I just shook it up. This was a mistake. You know when you make a cake and there is gloop left in the bowl? It was like a glass of that, minus the sugar, plus some sawdust for good measure. However, today's was good and filled me up. Ran down for the bus at 6.45 and headed into work.

Now the theory is to eat 5 times a day. This proves a little difficult but not impossible. A lot of the recipes provided are based around egg white omelettes. Maybe this is something readily available in the American version of the greasy spoon but this is definitely not the case in Scotland. The deep fried mars bar, the deep fried pizza - yes, the egg white omelette - no. I am lucky though at work as the canteen is wonderful. I had almonds for mid morning snack. I had grilled chicken and rocket for lunch and a small portion of salmon and rocket for afternoon snack.

Work was the usual; a few meetings and a few papers fired out and it was home time before I knew it. Sped off to bus for 6 and was home at 7. I had prepared some chicken and spinach last night to heat and eat when I got home. I made the red pepper and almond pesto from your Ultimate New York Plan on pg 222. I followed Helen's advice and I prepared as many pantry items as I could in advance.

I came up with some of my own recipes too. You just pack them all into a mini blender and buzz them up. Last night's inventions were as follows;

1. Ginger, Lemon, Nut and Chilli Pesto

1 cup of Spinach

1/4 cup of almonds

1/4 cup of parsley

Juice of half a lemon

1 large garlic clove

Birds eye chilli

2 teaspoons of ginger

1/2 teaspoon of sesame oil

2. Ginger, Mint and Lemon

1 cup of Spinach

1/4 cup of almonds

1/4 cup of mint

Juice of half a lemon

1 large garlic clove

2 teaspoons of ginger

1/2 teaspoon of olive oil

I coated the chicken, about 4oz, with the red pepper and almond pesto and wilted some spinach. I drank lots of water and I took all my supplements like a good little girl! I had thermobubbles in the morning, vitamin superjuice too and also in the afternoon and ended the evening with the calming bubbles. More on the supplements tomorrow.

How am I feeling? Well, post detox my skin in glowing, positively glowing. I am full of beans and I feel really positive about it all. I am going to limit my weigh ins to once a week as I have read that weight can fluctuate significantly from day to day and it's probably best to give it a week to see some real and encouraging results.

Don't feel hungry just now. I am going to paint my nails and distract myself from the kitchen because, in your own words David, the kitchen is closed at 7pm! Although I give my self an extra half hour if the commute home gets screwed up with traffic. It's going to be time for camp fest soon. Some people call is GLEE! It's hotly followed by Gary Tank Commander which is proving to be another favourite. I should perhaps do some exercise but I'm cooked and I fully intend chilling and going to bed nice and early in preparation for hellish commute tomorrow.

Over and out,

kikicee

New Beginnings

Dear David Kirsch,

Every year I make New Year's Resolutions that I end up breaking. However, this year is not the Chinese year of the Rabbit but the year of the bridesmaid. My baby sister is getting married on New Year's Eve this year and I have no intention of being a fat bridesmaid (again). I need to lose 5 stone 11 pounds or 81 pounds, in American money.

I just thought I would drop you a line as I started your 5 Day Detox and it went well. I wrote to you about how to keep this going for longer. I had got a couple of your books and they seemed to be more about sculpting and refining an already quite nice body rather than 'fat girl has a go'. I liked the way the detox made me feel and I have lost 8 pounds in the last 5 days.

Thanks to Helen for calling me back when I wrote to you to ask how to keep this going. Helen recommended that I stick to the 2 week plan in the Ultimate New York Diet book and keep on it until I have achieved my target weight. I am not doing the boot camp style fitness just quite yet, David. I have hired a cross trainer for 8 weeks and am going to build myself up to a regime, albeit not quite as gruelling as those who have bodies worth sculpting, that's for later.

I now embark on meals five times a day at set times and am sticking to the A, B, C, D, E and F nutrition plan; no alcohol, bread, starchy carbs, dairy, extra sweets, fruit and most fats. I have two protein shakes a day and am drinking vitamin super juice, thermo bubbles and calming bubbles. You're expensive, David but you are not as expensive as a new wardrobe when I creep up to another size I don't want to be. It's going to be worth it. I'm worth it.

I'm going to keep in touch, drop you a line once in a while and let you know how I am getting on.

Warmest Regards,

Kikicee